When thieves break in and steal…

I’ve been living in San Pedro Sula now for three months.   A few days ago, on Thursday, I went to Denny’s for our weekly staff meeting where we enjoyed brunch and celebrated three birthdays.  I felt really grateful to be able to spend the time with those present and for the fun memories we have shared together over the last three months.  Afterwards, we went to a funeral.  The father of one of two sisters at church had just died suddenly days before and we all went to support and comfort them and their family.  Our time there was interrupted by an emergency phone call that we needed to go home because the house had just been robbed.  For me it was all really confusing because everyone was talking in spanish and I only understood bits and pieces.  But, as I sat quietly in the car driving to the house, I tried to prepare my mind and my heart that it was highly likely my most valuable posessions, my camera gear and my computer, had been stolen.

Just after the police left, we arrived at the house.  It was kind of chaotic and it was a sad scene to walk into, the house had been ransacked, TV’s, nintendo, computers, jewelry stolen… clothes, cords, books strewn everywhere.  My heart went out to the Cruz family.  This was their home, it was their stuff and it’s just a horrible horrible feeling of violation.  We were all very grateful and very quick to thank God that no one was home when the robbery occurred   It could’ve been a much different situation had any one of us been home when they broke in the house.

After surveying the room where I had been staying, I sat on the bed and just kind of took it all in.  I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t sad.  I thought back to my college days living in New York City when, in the middle of final exams, our apartment was robbed.  I came back from studying at the library and literallly lost it.  I was so angry and felt so violated.  But because of that situation, I werestled to draw closer to God and gained a deep conviction on Matthew 6:19-21 about not storing our treasures up on earth where moth and rust destroy and theives break in and steal, but rather storing our treasures up in heaven where none of these things can be stolen or destroyed.  In the end, it’s just stuff.  It was worth a lot of money and I don’t have insurance that covers it and I’m not in a position to be able to replace it.  So yes, it stinks.  My camera equipment and my computer were the tools I used to work, how I made a living.  But, I will put my hope and trust and security in God and the promise of salvation for it cannot be stolen from me.

What lies heavy on my heart now is ‘God, what do you want me to do with my life?’  ‘God, why am I here?’  ‘I came all this way, I gave up everything, what am I supposed to do now?’  It’s questions like this that I have wrestled with and shed tears over this past week.  And still… I don’t have concrete answers.  I don’t have a detailed plan set out for the next 9 months other than falling deeper in love with God.  But, as I read my bible and I pray and I pour my heart out to God, there are quiet whispers of clarity and of truth and of peace.

I think about John 6 – The apostles gave up everything they had… some people were offended at what Jesus taught and they left… and when Jesus asked them if they wanted to leave too their response was “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”  Yes, I have given up everything for Christ – and though I face trials and hardships, it doesn’t change my end goal or make me want to turn around and search out an ‘easier’ life.  This is it for me, walking with God.

In Mark 8, Jesus tells us that we must be willing to lose our life for Him.  Willing to give up everything for Him.  Are there things that I’m not willing to give up?  Or that I’m afraid to give up?  Do I really believe that if I let go of it all, that God will take care of me?

What is God’s will for my life?  Maybe I don’t know the specifics… but I do know there are certain things that he’s called me to as I read the scriptures.  Loving him with all that I’ve got.  Loving others as much as I love myself.  Teaching others about Jesus and the scriptures and making disciples of all nations.  I could go on… but all the things I read… I can do them right now.  Whether I have a camera or not.  And so, am I?  Am I going to obey the scriptures?

I just finished reading the book ‘Radical’ by David Platt.  I started reading it on Monday of the week I was robbed, which I think is part of the reason I think I felt so at peace about what happened.  It’s an awesome book and an easy read – but it’s also really convicting and really pushed me to reevaluate my perspective and what’s important to me and how I’m living that out.  I highly recommend it!!  I’ll probably write a blog post about it later.

So anyway, that’s the latest update.  I’m having doubts about continuing photography as a career since all of this happened.  I’m praying for wisdom and direction and just to be used by God in ways that I never could’ve dreamed or imagined.  For now, I’m taking pictures with my iphone and my awesome Fuji x100 and looking for ways to love people as Christ loves me, and of course, trying to have fun and laugh!

Thanks for stopping by to check in on me.  If you have any advice, input or words of encouragement please share them!  Please keep me and the San Pedro Sula Church in your prayers!

Below is a photo that we took of all of us at the breakfast on Thursday morning… before we found out the house had been robbed.  It was a great morning and a really fun memory!