Deeply in love & Single on Valentine’s Day

I’m single and I love being single.  Valentine’s is not my favorite day and I can be tempted to feel like everyone has someone who loves and adores them except for me – but then I’m reminded to think about what is true.

Philippians 4: 8   “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

I can recall two times that I had a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day.  The first time was in high school, so it was just awkward.  The second time was a few years ago – and yes, it was really fun having someone tell me that he loved me, he sent me a dozen red roses and he took me out to a fancy dinner.  It was special and romantic… but even that was fleeting.  The roses died and months later we broke up.  I’m not bitter and I’m not anti-love and I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer  –  I just think it’s really important to keep things in perspective… and again, to focus on what is TRUE.

The God that I serve loves me so much more than I could ever know.  He adores me and he lavishes so many blessings on me that I do not deserve.  He has chosen me  (John 15:19; 1 Peter 2:9).  He has written incredible love letters to me (the Bible).  Nothing can separate me from his love (Romans 8:37-39).  He has sacrificed so much just to have a relationship with me (John 3:16).  He loves me at my worst (Romans 5:8).  He is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness (Psalm 86:15).  His love endures forever (136:26).  He is faithful (Dueteronomy 7:9)  He has great plans for my life (Jeremiah 29:11).  He has engraved me on the palm of his hand (Isaiah 49:16).

Being single, I believe… as Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 7… is better than being married because we can be FULLY devoted to the Lord and consumed with what concerns and pleases the Lord. I would love to be married one day – if it is God’s will – but, until then… if ever… I will choose to be fully devoted to the Lord and his business and I see that as a huge blessing and an honor.

Because I am single, I can do SO MUCH MORE than my married friends – with my time, with my money, where I live, where I go, who I spend time with, the friendships I get to have, etc… If you are single, I encourage you to keep thanking God for all of the blessings in your life that you have because of where he has you RIGHT NOW – because there totally is a great purpose for you and for your life NOW.  Not just if you are married.  I can often be tempted to think that the grass is greener on the other side – but if I always have that mindset, I will never appreciate where God has me right now,  I’ll be ungrateful, and I’ll probably have a bad attitude.

1 Corinthians 7: 28-35
“But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”

When I read scriptures like this, I am convicted not only in re-forming my perspective on being single and seeing it as a blessing… but then pushing myself to evaluate – because I am single, AM I living a life of undivided devotion to the Lord?  How am I spending my time?  What consumes my thoughts?  How am I spending my money?  What about my actions?   Am I concerned more about the Lord’s affairs or my own?  What would a life fully devoted to the Lord look like?  How can I make changes in my own life?

Single or married – we are called to find out what pleases the Lord and then let that be our guide.

Ephesians 5:8-10, 15-21  “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord…. Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,  making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.  Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.  Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

I spent my Valentine’s Day encouraging others and that made it an awesome day.  I had breakfast with two awesome women – Dulce and Brenda – we shared kind and loving words with one another, building each other up;  I enjoyed lunch at Dulce & Hector’s house along with Omar & Carlos for a traditional Mexican Molé dish and spiritual conversations and laughing;  In the afternoon, I treated myself to a pink donut at Dunkin Donuts with my friends Mariela and Brendita, sharing about our lives and sharing scriptures;  The evening was spent at the City Mall sharing with strangers about how God is the only one who can give us ‘Real Love’ and inviting them to learn more about this incredible God.

A day focused on others, a day motivated by the Lord’s will, is a much more productive & fulfilling day than any day I spend consumed with myself.

Here are two books that I found super helpful in embracing my singleness:

“Table for One”  by  Camerin Courtney

“Lady in Waiting”  by   Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones