Vanessa Embling » A blog about my life & photography

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  • WELCOME!

    I love photographing people and events. I love telling stories with pictures. I love watching people and capturing emotions and feelings in an image. I love to have fun. And Laugh. And be silly.

    I am an endless wanderer and my middle name means 'bringer of light' so I try to do that wherever I go! I lived overseas for three years doing humanitarian photojournalism, which was a dream come true. I am now back in the U.S. establishing roots and figuring life out.

6.27.13

Asking for help isn’t easy…

I’m realizing more and more that it’s really difficult for me to ask for help.  I don’t particularly like being vulnerable.  I don’t like to be ‘needy’.  Frankly, I think it’s easier to be strong and independent and to have to rely on no one.

But, since I’ve been living down here in Honduras I think God has been teaching me some things.  Well, OK… a lot of things.  But one area where I feel I’m being refined is in my independence.

I like being independent.  I can just hear Destiny’s Child singing in my ear… “all the women, independent… throw your hands up at me… I depend on me.”  Wait, I depend on me?   I got this?  I bought it?  I did it?  It was me?  I don’t need other people?  And so on.  Is that really how I think and feel sometimes?   Sadly, it is.  And. I’m. So. Convicted.  I have a long ways to go in my desire to become like Christ, a reflection of him who said ‘by myself I can do nothing’ (John 5:30).

Since I’ve been in Honduras I’ve had to let go of my independence in many areas.  I rely on others to get rides to and from places.  I need help from others to communicate (as I’m slowly learning spanish).  I am able to live here only because of the generosity of others opening up their homes to a complete stranger to live with them.

When I am need, I have to ask for help.  This forces me to be vulnerable because I can’t pretend like I have it all together and it also forces me to let go of control.  But –  it also allows other people ‘in’, it allows people to feel needed, and it allows people the chance to help.   And I experience the same thing with God.  Jesus was totally reliant upon God.  He even says that his FOOD was to do the will of the one who sent him and to finish his work (John 4:34).  I am learning to be more dependent on God and on people.  I am learning that needing people is not a bad thing and that it breeds vulnerability.  I can think of many times that a friend has been in need – maybe someone needed a place to stay, maybe someone needed a meal, maybe someone needed a ride, maybe someone needed money and of course I did what I could to help.  If my best friend or family member were in need and didn’t ask me for help because they didn’t want to inconvenience me, bother me, or appear vulnerable… I would be mad!  But I totally do this same thing.

And so a perfect example of all of this has to do with my photography gear being stolen two months ago.  (You can read the full story about here)  I’m now without my equipment and I’m not really sure what to do.  It’s left me questioning my plans here in Honduras and in Central America.  My prayers are most often filled with the same request of the father of the boy in Mark 9:24… “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!”  I know God has plans for my life, plans that only He knows about.  I know that I must have faith, being sure of what I hope for and certain of what I do not see.  I know that in time, I will be able to connect the dots and see the beautiful picture He was painting.  I don’t see it now but that doesn’t mean it’s not there or that it won’t be there.  A good friend shared this thought with me the other day… when I was crying and feeling hopeless… ‘God starts working when we can’t anymore.’  As long I as I walk around day after day with an attitude of ‘I depend on me’ and ‘I’ve got this’ and ‘I don’t need anyone else’ – where does God fit in?  And where do other people fit in?   So like I said, for two months I haven’t really wanted to ask for help.  I’ve been trying to figure out ways that I can figure it out on my own or do it all by myself.  And, well, I can’t.  So I’m humbly asking for your help.  I’ve set up a ‘go fund me’ site HERE  to try to raise the money to be able to replace my gear.  Any help you might be able to provide is greatly appreciated!

Below is a photo of me volunteering at the HOPE Centro Medico – the medical clinic.  I was surrounded by a bunch of kids and we were all laughing and it’s moments like that that take my breath away and remind me that even through the hard times, it’s all SO worth it.

 

Filed in: Personal | Photography
5.30.13

Throw Back Thursday – Teen Leader Fun

I had the chance to serve in the youth ministry in my church for about five years and it was such an incredible experience.  One of the amazing things I got to share in was the fellowship & family of the teen leaders (the volunteers that tirelessly serve).  I would like to think that in some parallel way, we, like Frodo, had a ‘fellowship’ and a bond like that of the Lord of the Rings 🙂  But – that being said, I’m CERTAIN that we laughed a whole lot more than they did.  And that’s part of why I love these people and they still include me in their ‘family’ today.  We laugh – a lot.  Like, till you cry or think you might throw-up kind of laughing.

And so Katelynn, one of the teen leaders, was heading off to a far away land to pursue a masters degree – we threw her a ‘going away party’ that was also combined with celebrating Christina’s birthday.  I of course used it as an opportunity to bring along my ‘awesome booth’ and made everyone make fools out of themselves…but WOW… what fun memories!!  We also, of course, had a piñata – because no party is complete without a piñata 🙂

You can view all of the images HERE in an awesome PASS gallery – AND know what’s SUPER COOL??!!  PASS has now added a super easy ‘Print’ feature that allows you to order prints from my high-quality print lab and have them shipped right to your door for a super reasonable price!!  It’s fast, convenient – and the print quality is a MILLION times better than those photos you get printed at CVS or WalMart!!  I promise!!!  Check it out!  Again, CLICK HERE to view the fun photos!!  The photos will only be online until June 30th, 2013 though so don’t wait!!!

Filed in: Family | Personal
5.10.13

A weekend getaway: Tela & Punta Sal

Last weekend I took a road trip with some friends to Tela and Punta Sal.  Tela is about an hour and fifteen minute drive from San Pedro Sula.  The two-lane road is filled with giant pot holes and it’s not a good idea to drive it at night.  Tela is a quiet coastal town with a resort atmosphere, a pleasant beachfront and some say it’s the best vacation spot on the coast.

Below are some of the photos from the trip but to view ALL of the photos in an awesome PASS gallery and to download any of the high resolution images click HERE

 

Above:  After we arrived on Saturday afternoon and enjoyed lunch at Evelyn’s house, we ventured out to explore some more rural areas nearby, stopping at two of the Garifuna villages.  First stop, Miami.  The drive there was extremely rugged – but fun! (below)

Excerpt from my Lonely Planet book:  “Miami is often described as a ‘pure’ Garifuna village, with clusters of thatched huts at the end of a long, sandy road, free of outside influence.  There’s only one catch, it’s not a Garifuna town!  It’s a designated Garifuna area, and many of the lots are owned by Garifuna people, but almost all of Miami’s full-time residents (about 100) are ladinos (people of mixed Indian and European parentage) who have moved here from Tela.  Most of Miami’s Garifunas spend their time in Tornabé, where there are jobs, shops, schools, and electricity and running water.  Miami is appealingly rustic.

We stopped at one of the huts to walk around and drink some agua de coco (coconut water) from freshly picked coconuts.  How awesome is that!?

Then, we drove further out to the center of the ‘town of Miami’…

Below: Where we then got stuck in the sand.  Doh!  But, Abel, Deysi & Evelyn pushed the truck as I got the easy job steering and stepping on the gas peddle!  (and taking photos)

We decided to hire a boat and take a tour of of the Laguna de los Micos (Lagoon of the Monkeys) where we saw extensive mangrove forests and a couple of cocodrilos (crocodiles)!  So fun!  Sidenote… I’m obsessed with mangrove trees and how they grow.  Click HERE to watch a cheesy video I found on youtube explaining it a little more.

Once back on shore, we decided to take a tour through the largest and most developed of the Garifuna villages in area, Tornabé.  I’m kicking myself now for not taking more photos of the actual town itself.  There was a big gathering happening at the center of the town with dancing and music that we passed by.  We did stop to walk on the beach there and came across a lot of trash, stray shoes, a few syringes and lots of crabs.  I don’t recommend walking on the beach barefoot!

From there, we headed back to Tela and stopped at the Maya Vista hotel & restaurant for a spectacular tree top view of Tela at sunset.

Then we headed back to Evelyn’s house where we met up with the rest of the crew that had just arrived from San Pedro and we celebrated Ruth’s (Evelyn’s Mom) birthday with a piñata and all!  We had a great time!


After the mini birthday party we headed over to Marielly’s house for baleadas – (traditional honduran food)

We closed the night out with a fogata (bonfire) on the beach.  It was a ton of fun.  I was in awe that it was even ‘allowed’ because that’s SO illegal in the States!  We brought all the fixings for s’mores and everyone got to try a s’more for the first time!  Then we played charadas (charades) and laughed a lot!

PUNTA SAL:  At 6:00am the next morning we piled into the pickup truck (all ten of us in one truck = totally legal here) and headed out to the beach to meet up with the boat that we would be hiring for the day to take us to Punta Sal.  I didn’t know what to expect other than I knew there were no bathrooms and I needed to bring my own bottle of bug spray and keep it in-hand!

Walking out to the boat and loading our gear for the day…

Salva Vidas (or life jackets) all around!  Some were more eager than others to put the life jackets on because they couldn’t swim… yikes!

It took about 45 minutes to get out there and it was a beautiful boat ride.  I soaked up every minute I could of the fresh, salty air blowing on my face and the sunshine.  It was MAGNIFICENT.

Punta Sal according to Lonely Planet:  Punta Sal is part of the Parque Nacional Jeannette Kawas and is considered to be one of the most scenic places on the North Coast of Honduras.  The park has several white sand beaches.  You will find marked national park trails and you may spot howler monkeys on the way.  Offshore are coral reefs that make for fine snorkeling.

We arrived at one of the many beaches and jumped off the boat for a hike through the forest with our guide, Raul.

We had the boat all day so we got to go wherever we wanted, whenever we wanted.  We visited two beaches and both times had them all to ourselves, which was awesome.  We hung out on the beach, got sun burned, did a lot of swimming, hit the beach ball around, hid in the shade, and then swam some more.  It was a wonderful day!

And then… sadly… it was time to head back to shore.  Below: Tela from the water.

When we arrived back in Tela, Evelyn’s mom had made all of us sopa de caracol (conch soup) for a late lunch – and it was amazing!  She’s an incredible cook!

And then, after lunch… it was time to head back to San Pedro Sula.  Awesome weekend!!  Can’t wait for another adventure!

Filed in: Personal | travel
comment
May 10, 2013 - 9:32 pm

Leo - Great article and even better pictures. I love the magazine feel of the layout. Can you say Nat Geo? 😉 Vanessa, keep up the great work.

August 23, 2013 - 5:04 pm

Vanessa Embling - Hahaha, WOW! Thanks Leo!!

5.9.13

Bright lights shining in San Pedro Sula

Last night I had the opportunity to attend an Art Gallery opening in San Pedro Sula and it was amazing.

To begin with, I didn’t know things like this even EXISTED here.  However, about a month and a half ago I was sitting in Popeye’s chicken – yes, they have those here and the only reason I went in was for the air conditioning – with a bunch of friends from church.  Everyone was talking in spanish and I didn’t understand anything so I was daydreaming.  Next thing I knew, I heard the guys sitting at the table next to me speaking English.  I got really excited and mustered up the courage to talk to them to find out where they were from and hope that they didn’t think I was ‘weird’.  Turns out, one was from Canada and the rest were locals from San Pedro.  They were all covered in paint looking very ‘artistic’ so I asked them what they were doing and they told me they had just finished painting a giant mural in the city… for fun.  They are all painters.  Well, one’s a photographer and the rest are painters.  So I was really excited to have met them and we exchanged info and have kept in touch through facebook.

I have been impressed by these guys because they are passionate about what they do and they love their city and their country.  They use their gifts and talents to beautify this city – which most days is not a happy, pretty place.  Every part of them longs to paint and to share it with others and so they are always looking for blank canvases = cement walls, to fill with color and art.  How COOL is that!!?  There is a fire and a light inside them that I haven’t seen in many people – this deep desire to go out and do what makes them come alive.  They inspire me.

Anyway, last night was the opening of their art gallery along with some other artists.  I was able to stop by with some friends just for a little bit and I’m SO glad we did.  An otherwise ‘normal’ scene in the US… it was not at all a ‘normal’ scene here in San Pedro so I was thrilled.  There was a seating area outside the gallery where people were sitting and mingling while a gentleman played the guitar and sang (and he was really good) and then we went inside the gallery to view the incredibly beautiful paintings and works of art while servers came around and served wine and appetizers.  WHAT?!  Again, this doesn’t happen in San Pedro!  Or if it does… I didn’t know about it!  I got to talk for a bit with Rei Blinky, Baruc Selim , and Carlos Badia and to be honest, I didn’t want leave!  It was great and I wish that I could’ve purchased all of the paintings to take them home with me!  You can check out the facebook page for GALA Galeria de Arte HERE.

I snapped a few photos – check them out below.

Filed in: Personal | Photography | travel
5.8.13

When thieves break in and steal…

I’ve been living in San Pedro Sula now for three months.   A few days ago, on Thursday, I went to Denny’s for our weekly staff meeting where we enjoyed brunch and celebrated three birthdays.  I felt really grateful to be able to spend the time with those present and for the fun memories we have shared together over the last three months.  Afterwards, we went to a funeral.  The father of one of two sisters at church had just died suddenly days before and we all went to support and comfort them and their family.  Our time there was interrupted by an emergency phone call that we needed to go home because the house had just been robbed.  For me it was all really confusing because everyone was talking in spanish and I only understood bits and pieces.  But, as I sat quietly in the car driving to the house, I tried to prepare my mind and my heart that it was highly likely my most valuable posessions, my camera gear and my computer, had been stolen.

Just after the police left, we arrived at the house.  It was kind of chaotic and it was a sad scene to walk into, the house had been ransacked, TV’s, nintendo, computers, jewelry stolen… clothes, cords, books strewn everywhere.  My heart went out to the Cruz family.  This was their home, it was their stuff and it’s just a horrible horrible feeling of violation.  We were all very grateful and very quick to thank God that no one was home when the robbery occurred   It could’ve been a much different situation had any one of us been home when they broke in the house.

After surveying the room where I had been staying, I sat on the bed and just kind of took it all in.  I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t sad.  I thought back to my college days living in New York City when, in the middle of final exams, our apartment was robbed.  I came back from studying at the library and literallly lost it.  I was so angry and felt so violated.  But because of that situation, I werestled to draw closer to God and gained a deep conviction on Matthew 6:19-21 about not storing our treasures up on earth where moth and rust destroy and theives break in and steal, but rather storing our treasures up in heaven where none of these things can be stolen or destroyed.  In the end, it’s just stuff.  It was worth a lot of money and I don’t have insurance that covers it and I’m not in a position to be able to replace it.  So yes, it stinks.  My camera equipment and my computer were the tools I used to work, how I made a living.  But, I will put my hope and trust and security in God and the promise of salvation for it cannot be stolen from me.

What lies heavy on my heart now is ‘God, what do you want me to do with my life?’  ‘God, why am I here?’  ‘I came all this way, I gave up everything, what am I supposed to do now?’  It’s questions like this that I have wrestled with and shed tears over this past week.  And still… I don’t have concrete answers.  I don’t have a detailed plan set out for the next 9 months other than falling deeper in love with God.  But, as I read my bible and I pray and I pour my heart out to God, there are quiet whispers of clarity and of truth and of peace.

I think about John 6 – The apostles gave up everything they had… some people were offended at what Jesus taught and they left… and when Jesus asked them if they wanted to leave too their response was “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”  Yes, I have given up everything for Christ – and though I face trials and hardships, it doesn’t change my end goal or make me want to turn around and search out an ‘easier’ life.  This is it for me, walking with God.

In Mark 8, Jesus tells us that we must be willing to lose our life for Him.  Willing to give up everything for Him.  Are there things that I’m not willing to give up?  Or that I’m afraid to give up?  Do I really believe that if I let go of it all, that God will take care of me?

What is God’s will for my life?  Maybe I don’t know the specifics… but I do know there are certain things that he’s called me to as I read the scriptures.  Loving him with all that I’ve got.  Loving others as much as I love myself.  Teaching others about Jesus and the scriptures and making disciples of all nations.  I could go on… but all the things I read… I can do them right now.  Whether I have a camera or not.  And so, am I?  Am I going to obey the scriptures?

I just finished reading the book ‘Radical’ by David Platt.  I started reading it on Monday of the week I was robbed, which I think is part of the reason I think I felt so at peace about what happened.  It’s an awesome book and an easy read – but it’s also really convicting and really pushed me to reevaluate my perspective and what’s important to me and how I’m living that out.  I highly recommend it!!  I’ll probably write a blog post about it later.

So anyway, that’s the latest update.  I’m having doubts about continuing photography as a career since all of this happened.  I’m praying for wisdom and direction and just to be used by God in ways that I never could’ve dreamed or imagined.  For now, I’m taking pictures with my iphone and my awesome Fuji x100 and looking for ways to love people as Christ loves me, and of course, trying to have fun and laugh!

Thanks for stopping by to check in on me.  If you have any advice, input or words of encouragement please share them!  Please keep me and the San Pedro Sula Church in your prayers!

Below is a photo that we took of all of us at the breakfast on Thursday morning… before we found out the house had been robbed.  It was a great morning and a really fun memory!

 

Filed in: Personal | Photography | Photojournalism | Spiritual
comment
May 8, 2013 - 8:50 pm

TWAH DOUGHERTY - Vanessa, this post left my heart speechless and tearing up with 2 bi-polar emotions. On one end, I felt tears of sadness that you lost your physically valuable things (twice!) and at the same time, I felt tears of joy for seeing how deep your love and conviction for God is. I am beyond moved to see how much God has molded you, refined you and allowed for you to be at this state. To be able to face the master-of-chaos and say you choose to still love God and will not turn on him. It makes me cry to see how strong your faith is… because only in these time when you do not see is when God is working his most. Heb 11:1 “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

May 8, 2013 - 11:14 pm

Ann Keen - Oh Vanessa!! I am so sorry! You are right God has a plan even when it is so hard to understand. I will be praying for you! (((hugs)))

May 9, 2013 - 6:43 pm

Aunt Jean - Ness, I am so sorry that happened. I hope by writing your thoughts and feelings, you are better able to move forward. You have a great attitude. Stay strong. I am very proud of you.

June 27, 2013 - 9:38 pm

Cathy Brea - Vanessa,

Thank you for such an inspiring post and your perseverance to love and live for God, our everything. Your example and perspective challenge me to really consider how i am living my life as well.

I will continue to pray for you and the church.

August 23, 2013 - 5:03 pm

Vanessa Embling - Thanks so much for your encouragement Cathy!!!