I sat down this morning to spend time with God and I was distracted, agitated, unfocused and to be honest, I just didn’t really want to do it. I have a list of a thousand things that I needed to get done today and I wanted to start checking things off the list and ‘feel productive.’
I know that it’s good to read my bible and to spend time with God. I know that it will bring me peace. But man, sometimes it’s hard. I’m selfish. I tell myself “I’ll do it later”. I choose to do all sorts of things over just spending time in communion with God. Over what really matters. I am MARTHA. And I want to be Mary. I want to just come and sit at my masters feet and drink him in.
At the Home of Martha and Mary
Luke 10:38-42 “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
My heart aches this morning and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s a longing for my Lord. Maybe it’s because I know I choose the wrong things throughout the day… day after day… instead of choosing what is better… and what will not be taken away from me. I busy myself all day long with lots of things – Facebook, the internet – work – making food, eating food, running errands, taking care of loose ends – planning for my next trip – planning this weekend – studying spanish – educating myself in the list of things I want to learn – even spending time trying to look pretty, or younger, or… well, fill in the blank. And while all of these things aren’t necessarily bad things… how easy it is for them to control my life and for me to not choose the one thing that really matters, what is better… and what cannot be taken from me.
Mary simply sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. I’m guessing that she loved spending time with him. That perhaps the words in Psalm 42:1-2 described how Mary felt about being with Jesus.
“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?”
I WANT to feel like that… but to be honest, most days I don’t. From the moment I wake up in the morning things are pulling at me. My brain is racing with all that I need to do, want to do and should be doing. As I’m eating breakfast I’m bombarded with thoughts ranging from ‘I need to workout today. When am I going to do that?’ to ‘Practice spanish, you have to practice spanish. And stop at the printer to get the photos printed. And update your website too.’ Most days I feel like a hamster running on one of those metal wheels… going nowhere but working awfully hard. Sometimes I am just overwhelmed with all that I need to do that I don’t do anything and instead open up Facebook or instagram and look for interesting things to pacify me.
And then I’m reminded of Mary and Martha. And I’m totally being like Martha – but I want to be like Mary. I want to just sit at Jesus’ feet and quench my thirst for truth and meaning and purpose. To be filled with what really matters… and with what cannot be taken from me.
I am also reminded of the parable of the sower (Mark 4:1-20)… one of my favorite parables – maybe because it cuts me to the heart, every time I read it. I can read through the beginning when he’s talking about all the different soils and think – oh, well for sure I want to be the good soil… I AM the good soil (verse 8). And I DO want to be the good soil… but I think when I’m really honest with myself… my temptation and my nature is to be the soil with the thorns (verse 7) especially when Jesus describes it in verses 18-19:
“Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.”
Stop and think about that. The worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful… for me – I would say that my biggest struggle every day is just battling the worries of this life and my desires for other things… that right there is enough to ruin my walk with God – enough to choke out the word… enough to take my eyes off of Him. Isn’t that the difference between Mary and Martha? Yes, things need to get done in our lives on daily basis. Yes, we need to work and do stuff. But every day I have a choice in where I get ‘filled up’… a choice in where my eyes are fixed and the perspective that that frames for my life. When I choose to sit at Jesus’ feet and be filled up – it really is so much better than anything I could fill up with in this world. And when I’m spiritually filled up – that is something that cannot be taken from me.
And so, there are days that are easier than others to come and sit at my Lord’s feet. Some days I open my bible eagerly to listen to what he has to say. Some days I put it off and choose other things thinking they are more important. Some days I have to deny myself and force myself to open up my bible and spend time with God because I know it will be good for me and I need it…even though I don’t ‘feel’ like it (it’s kind of like how I feel about exercising). But in the end – I am always better off for having spent time being filled up by what truly matters, what is better and what cannot be taken from me.
Luke 10:27
‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’
Psalm 37:4
Take delight in the Lord,“ and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 42:1-2, 11
“As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, my God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.”
Psalm 84:1-2, 10
“How lovely is your dwelling place,
Lord Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.”
erica - Miss you!!!
Vanessa Embling - Miss you too Erica! Thanks for stopping by my blog! 🙂